Emily and Lisa: Annoying the Dark Lard, er, Lord
by Rica666
Summary: Two firsties decide that if no one else is going to do it they are. Join Emily and Lisa as they make the Dark Lards...er, Dark Lords, life a living hell.
1. Voldy where are thou?

**Rica666: It's the first chapter of my story!/claps/ Yay!**

**Voldy: /in tears/ Why?!**

**Emily:/smirks/ Your an idiot, that's why.**

**Lisa:/smiles kindly/ Don't worry, Voldy. We'll be there cheering you on as you fail horribly.**

**Rica666: /laughs/ This is wonderful. /blinks/ You know, I just noticed that I may have possible based Lisa off of a character in an anime...**

**Emily: /rolls eyes/ Rica does NOT own anything except for Lisa and me.**

**Voldy: /cries and whimpers/**

**Lisa: Enjoy the story!**

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_"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." – Mark Twain_

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**Chapter One: Voldy where are thou?**

A small girl with a yellow and black tie peeks around a corner and giggles when she sees the back of another small girl, whose long hair is green and silver. The girl with green and silver hair rolls her eyes but doesn't turn around. The Hufflepuff sneaks up and screams,

"BOO!"

She then pouts when the other girl turns around; face blank and…well…not scared. The other girl, whose tie is green and silver, the same color as her hair, smirks at the pout and murmurs,

"Lisa, you know that you can't sneak up on anybody to save your life."

The other girl sticks out her tongue and replies, pushing some blond hair out of her light blue eyes, "Yes well, I don't care now. You can just go and die. Blah on you."

"Nice Lisa. So…are we going to do this or not?"

"Mwahahahah," Lisa starts to cough and the other girl looks at her with mild concern, "Gah! I'm fine, Emily, I just need to work on my evil laugh."

"If you say so…"

"…Anyways, I was born to do this!"

A young woman with dark brown hair glares at nothing as she stands outside of the Riddle house. Thankful she found that rat-man to give her where he lived. She smirks slightly as she recalls the fearful look on the poor, ugly things face. She then shakes her head and seemingly scolds herself mentally.

Lisa giggles as her friend throws a rock up at a window, face scrunched into that of disgust. Oh, how much fun this is going to be, annoying the poor…man? Thing? Monster? Hmmm, how about porcupine? Yes, the poor porcupine! She giggles insanely and the writer would very much like to leave it at that. Goodness this Hufflepuff is completely bonkers…

Emily, thanks to an ageing potion and glamour spell, is now a young woman with brown hair. She grins slightly and cry's out, since she can't see the porcupine (Lisa's words, not hers),

"Voldie, Voldie, where are thou Voldie?"

Suddenly, a light flickers on and the young woman/girl, after cackling gleefully darts behind a bush just as the window opens. Now our lovely nose less villain growls when he sees nothing and slams his fist on the windowsill.

"Damn kids," he grumbles loudly, "I'll send my Death Eaters out to get them."

With that he shuts the window, and stalks away. The young woman/girl runs to where her friend is hiding and the portkey back to Hog's Head. Aberforth grins at the two, now girls since the potion wore off, as they walk out of the bar. The Slytherin, Emily, calls back,

"We'll be back next weekend, Dumbledore!"

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**Rica666: DONE! WOOHOO!/Dances/**

**Emily:/sighs/ Review please.**

**Lisa:/nods/ That way Rica won't be sad./smiles/**


	2. Your Plans To Kill Potter have failed

**Rica666: People actually like my stories.../blinks in shock/Wow...**

**Emily: I know, I thought the same thing./Turns to readers/Thank goodness you like them or else I would have never been thought of.**

**Lisa: Yep! If you didn't like the 'Ways to Annoy Voldemort' so much than she wouldn't of continued to think of ways to keep you readers back for more.**

**Voldemort: /Glares hatefully at readers/Why in the name of Merlin would you do this to me. I wouldn't continue to torture someone if they were terrified.**

**Rica666/Emily/Lisa: /silence/**

**Voldemort: What?!**

**Rica666/Emily/Lisa: You do that all the time!**

**Voldemort:/sniffs/So?**

**Rica666: /looks at him incrediously/You. Are. The. Biggest. Hypocrite. And. Idiot. I. Have. Ever. Met.**

**Emily: /stares at the fight/Well the disclaimer...**

**Lisa: Oh, oh, oh! Rica666 doesn't own Harry Potter. This is purely for entertainment and she is not, has not, and will never make any money off of this. The Lawyer says so.**

**The Lawyer: Darn right I say so.**

**Emily: /rolls eyes/ Enjoy the story.**

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Chapter 2: "...Your plans to kill Potter have failed...again...man you're a loser."

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_"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly. I said I don't know." – Mark Twain_

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Emily stares in slight shock at her Hufflepuff friend. Lisa just smiles back at the Slytherin girl. Emily blinks and looks at the potion in her friends hands then sighs,

"You know Lisa, sometimes you scare me greatly."

"It's what you love the most about me."

"Not really."

"You know what?"

A sigh, "What?"

A pause, "Eat pie and die," silence, "pie and die rhyme," a giggle.

"You are, in the words Professor Snape, a dunderhead."

"Thank you, thank you very much darling."

Another sigh, "Lets get this show on the road."

"YAY!"

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This time Emily is far more nervous than before. She looks at her best friend and puts on the Death Eater mask she stole.

"So," Emily says, her voice muffled by the mask, "Do I look Death Eater enough."

Lisa smiles as she shivers and says, "Oh yes, you are extremely Death Eater-y."

"…Death Eater-y…"

"Don't mock me Emily."

"It's just weird…I didn't mean for it to sound mocking."

"'Tis alright dear," a pause, "Well go do what we planned."

Emily sighs and starts to walk to the door of the house then turns, "Your going to have to start doing this too, you know?"

Lisa smiles and waves her hand. Emily huffs and walks away, blending into the Death Eaters entering the house.

Lisa suddenly starts to laugh,"Bwahahahahahaha," Lisa starts to cough again, "Gah! I really need to work on that before I kill myself."

Emily's hand twitches slightly at the thought of what she was about to do. She swallows and glances around quickly. Her lips twitch slightly as she steps up in front of the Dark Lord. She knells.

"My Lord," she starts keeping her voice flat as he inclines his head, "your plans to kill Potter have failed…again…for the thousandth time…man you are a loser."

Seeing everyone around her is in shock she quickly steps back within the Death Eaters and when she makes it to the back, disillusions herself to enjoy the show. She smirks as Voldemort starts to act, his face quickly turning red as he screams for the Death Eater who said that to come up. He starts to shoot spells around and that is when Emily decides to leave.

"Oh man Lisa," Emily gasps, her face red from laughter, "you should have seen his face after I said that. It was hilarious."

Lisa smiles and says, as she opens the door and exits the Hogs Head, "I have no doubt. I will have to view it in a pensive."

Aberforth rolls his eyes at the girls but has a smile on his face. Whatever those kids are doing doesn't bother him. He just hopes they won't get hurt. It would be a shame to lose those two.

"Same time next weekend, Dumbledore," Lisa yells back.

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**Rica666: Okay so here is the deal. I really need to get up the second chapter of 'To Change the Past' 'cause not only am I being begged to get another chapter up, school is going to start early for me this year and I don't know if I'll have any time to update the way I want./mutters/ Stupid new High School. Now don't get me wrong, we are in desperate need of a new high school but I am a senior...I won't get to use it and my younger sister probably won't get to use it either. So really it is pointless for me to get worked up about it, right?**

**Emily: Ignore her, she needs to go on rants like this ever once in a while.**

**Lisa: /grins/ Yep, Yep. What she means to say is 'I hope you enjoy the story', 'Go away The Lawyer'(Yes, that is his name...don't mock him! Emily:/mutters/Mock him all you want), /glares at Emily/ and 'Review! Or the Cookie Monster will eat you.' Hey I rhymed again!**

**Emily:/rolls eyes/**


End file.
